The Impatient Goddess

I am quite impatient.  Obviously hinted at in the title.

I often feel as though life is passing me by and that I don't know what to do.  I feel like everyone is rushing by and I am standing there in my own confusion.  I tend to push forward in my life and hurry on, like I am trying to get somewhere different.  In undergrad I pushed on and graduated in three years.  Now looking back I really wish I didn't do this because I never got the chance to have that WILD phase.  The dying my hair and getting a lip ring phase.

Yes I happen to think this is cute.

Anyways.  So every once in a while I get a wild hair up my ass and I have to do something that makes me feel like my life is moving too.  Sometimes I'll do stupid stuff like drink and hit on boys (but hey, that is another story). 

So, Let me begin my story with some background information.  You will probably guess what my stupid moving forward mistake is before I reach it, but that is cool.  Just try not to ruin the surprise for yourself.  My roommate had this friend who I had meant once in a group of people and since that time he has always been joking with her that he is going to have sex with me.  This was spurred on by the fact that I have red fuzzy hand-cuffs pinned to my wall.  

SIDE STORY: The hand-cuffs are an 18th birthday present from one of my best friends.  They remain virgin cuffs. I hang them up because it is funny.  Also because it is a little pervy, but mostly funny.  

Back On Track!!  So This kid is always joking about having sex with me.  Then I finally got to meet him again and he was not who I thought he was, he was super duper cuter.  So I started to have a little crush on him. 

Well.  Here are some facts:  I have trouble talking to boys I like... sometimes I have to have my friends hit the send button for me.  Guys generally agree that if a girl asks them out they will say yes... it has something to do with the fact that most men know what it is to be rejected so they are more likely to be gentle. Lastly, This:

Venn Diagrams Rock!

So can we guess what I did?  Yes. I asked him out (via Facebook message).  I wrote it myself and hit send and didn't even ask any of my friends if it was a good idea.  Turns out, not every guy will say yes to you if you ask him out, not every guy that jokes about having sex with you wants to and you may want to get your friend's opinions before asking out someone who is basically a stranger.  

So here is the moral of my story:

  

If you recognize this from the movie...

Don't make fun, K?

Well... no lie, that was not the moral of the story.  That was just a really good tie in.  Also I was telling my roommate the same thing earlier tonight, that jumping in is half the fun, and that falling for someone is an amazing treat.  Point is...

Even though he didn't say yes to me (though he never actually said no either?) I am so proud of myself for doing that.  It was nice to know that I can get the balls to get what I want.  The problem is that I need to be a little more patient and possibly ask out someone after I know them a little  better. 

So.  My real moral is: You cannot just sit back and wait for life to happen because it will pass you by.  At the same time, when you do get out there, you need to have patience that life isn't passing you by, it just isn't happening as swiftly as you would like (or as swiftly as they portray on TV). 

So Get out there... but take it slow??  

Whatever. You know what I am trying to say. 

The First Secret: The Secret Behind the Title

I honestly do not know why I am making a blog. I am piss poor at writing and I don't know that anyone wants to know what I have to say.  At the same time, if my words strike meaning with just one person then my goal has been reached.

The Secret Behind the Title  I am a college age student who has not had a boyfriend in four plus years.  I am a little over weight, but my body does contain some kick ass curves.  I am very insecure and I often times feel like I don't know who I really am.  I fantasize about running off and trying out a new different kind of life.  One of my very best friends, Z, is always trying to increase my confidence and he says that I am constantly growing and surprising him.  He says that all that I am, my personality, looks and humor as well as anything else is boarderline goddess.  Obviously I do have my faults, but those you will find out about later (as well as just how fucking awesome I am).

So here we go, delving into my insecurities and secrets with full force and hoping I am accepted.

PS Party People: I love pictures.  I use them to help define myself so you will probably see a lot of them in my blog.  They will mostly have to do with the topic at hand, but sometimes I just won't give an eff and I put whatever picture I want, Cuz HEY, Its my blog MoFos!